Too-day

Today:
1) My military hair bun is too bouncy
2) My socks are too scrunchy
3) My shoulder holster is causing my uneeform to get too high on my neck
4) A deep freezer at the chow hall tried to steal my radio right out of my pocket-but don't worry, the floor caught it.
5) Floors keep jumping up to make me trip
6) Chairs on wheels keep moving right before I sit
7) Keys keep changing places on the keyboard...or at least that's what it seems like. :o)
8) coffee is having the exact opposite effect on me
9) My belt is refusing to fit into the buckle...unRULy little thing!
10) Pistachios are conducting a sit-in and refuse to come out of their little shells-why can't they just do their job and be eaten!
11) A cleaning kit for my rifle was given to me, but the cleaning kit was horrifically dirty. haha...who does that?
12) I think someone changed all my passwords....or maybe I just wasn't typing them in right? No, that's right...the keys on the keyboard switched places
13) Rocks? Rocks don't help soak up the water when it rains. Rocks move their little selves right when you step to create a dangerous and un-firm ground. And THAT is a fact.
14) My hat doesn't want to stay on my head. It enjoys staying on the ground all day.
15) words in my sentences keep changing places. I just don't know how they can jump off the page and re-arrange like that so that the sentence makes absolutely NO sense :)
---I think it's safe to say---today I just had an off day :D And THAT is al-right