to Germany, and beyond

Just sitting in a German airport waiting for our flight to Kuwait. So far so good...and safe. It was a nice long flight over the ocean, and so far have been traveling over 24 hours! haha and still got a good chunk ahead of us. All I need is a shower! Hopefully I'll be able to get internet shortly after we get there so I can keep this here blog updated. That's all I got for now...getting on the plane soon!

I'm finally coming home from the desert. It may only be for a week, but I'm so excited to be with my fam and friends. We're moving today to a different building that does NOT have the internet machine, so I'm signing off until further notice.

I hope all of you get a piece of my love that I'm sending from the desert! I hope you all have a safe and very wonderful Christmas! God bless you.

looks like love

Lately me and God have been getting to know each other in a different way than I ever have experienced...and through this all I've realized two main things
1) I'm embarrassed of my past...almost afraid of it, knowing that at any second it can sneak up behind me and haunt me from any direction.
2) I think I might be afraid of love...not just love, but the thought of Jesus loving me unconditionally, not thinking twice, not asking questions. To me, it seems almost too good to be true and I'm afraid of accepting it and then having it taken away from me. I know His love is constant--because that's what the Bible tells me--but the only humanly love I've seen (that wasn't from my family) was fake and short-lived...maybe not even love at all...and it hurt. It hurt to be loved.

These two thoughts have been my companion lately...
Today I was running on the treadmill at the gym. Normally I have my rock mix that I listen to while I run...it pumps me up, ya know? But today, I just had it on random. I had just gotten lots of new music from a friend of mine so naturally a new song came up that I hadn't heard before. I didn't catch all the words, but the ones I did catch set my heart on fire.
I think it was written from a guy to a girl...but that's not the way I heard it in my head. No. I sang it with my whole heart...to God.

p.s. at the bottom is the video for it, so you can hear it while you read the lyrics.

Looks Like Love
by: Needtobreathe

Take another step
Don’t give up on me just yet
We could take a chance
We could find a child’s romance
At least we’d love until we can’t

I wont run when it looks like love
I won’t hide beneath the fear
Of how my past has come undone

I wont run when it looks like love
I can’t spend another night alone
Regretting what I’ve done
So, I won’t run

The breeze can only be
When she overcomes the heat
Our hearts can only shake
When there’s risk that they could break
Yeah it’s a chance that I will take

I wont run when it looks like love
I won’t hide beneath the fear
Of how my past has come undone

I wont run when it looks like love
I can’t spend another night alone
Regretting what I’ve done
So, I won’t run

Raise your head
Its time to say
Those words that I have left unsaid
I’ve slept through the sunrise
And I turned
Away every time it got bright

this video was the ONLY one on youtube for this song...so disappointed.
the song, though...amazing

I'll be home for Christmas

So I sang a song.
Maybe it's because I was just bored...
maybe it's because I just love to sing...
most definitely it's because this song has been stuck in my head
because this year, when I sing it...
it's actually TRUE!

I'll be home for Christmas...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCRiscg5wRA

...and I can't WAIT!

Living the 12 hour days...

So we started 12 hour operations here...for training. We're on a simulated FOB (kinda like a base overseas) and are doing super secret stuff. All I can say is, thank goodness we're only doing 12 hour operations. Another unit here gets the pleasure of 24 hour ops. So we got it easy. Real life scenarios are included with US military who come in to play the part of Iraqi civilians and detainees. It's actually a good time. I'm definitely getting close to my unit...almost too close. haha. But definitely feeling more and more equipped to do the job over in the sandbox for real.

We're getting into the Christmas spirit here too. Everywhere we drive, we are diligent-and despite some Christmas song haters-to keep the radio tuned to the Christmas Carol center. I never want to leave that van when we arrive at our destination, because by the time we get to where we're going, there is so much Christmas joy built up in that van that it just feels wrong to let it get out. haha. We even got a little taste of NE here in the sweet southern state--it SNOWED today! I even sang myself I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas. I'm so excited for Christmas...I might even post up a Christmas song. Only if you're lucky...haha

alright dad... this one's for you!

Acronyms...
gotta love 'em. I honestly don't think the Army could function without them! If you've ever been around somebody in the military... I KNOW you've heard some of these before. However, sometimes we make up our own...sometimes for business, sometimes for comic relief.

Here we go Acronyms 101...
QRF-Quick Reaction Force
BUB-Battle Update Brief
SOP-Standard Operating Procedure
IED-Improvised Explosive Device
TIF-Theatre Internment Facility
FOB-Forward Operating Base
TTP-Tactics Technical Procedures
DFAC-Dining Facility
FOUO-For Official Use Only
TCP-Traffic Control Point
COIN-Counter Insurgency
NCOIC-Non Commissioned Officer In Command
XO-Executive Officer
ALOC-Army Logistics Operating Center
CYA-Cover Your Ass (Actually used...but not official haha)
PVT-Personally Vaccinated Turtle
PFC-Perfect For Combustion
SPC-Sponsored Paper Carrier
SGT-Sticky Gun Turret
SSG-Semi Special Gun
...and it goes down hill from there (the last 5, be known, are not real and are not used...that's just one of the things we do when we get bored in class here-hehe)

So there ya go, I hope you got somethin outta that...if anything, two and a half laughs (daddio).
I'm just here, trying to broaden your base of knowledge.
...And just remember in SGT situations, CYA.
Thank You.

amazing grace

this in response to a request from my friend...and of course i was ecstatic to oblige...it involves singing! she asked me to sing this song, but i told her that i don't have my guitar since it's on its lonely way to iraq. so she suggested i just sing it without the guitar...so that's exactly what i did. this song means a lot to me and to her. i hope you enjoy it too! :)

amazing grace...

true outdoor experience...hiking

This last Sunday our unit decided to load up and take off into the beautiful wilderness of the Franklin mountains in El Paso... and I'm so glad we did. The path we decided on, we were told, was going to be about a 5 hour round trip and it would take us to the very tippity top of one of the peaks. Sounds easy enough, huh? Well, it wasn't too bad. Extremely beautiful and quite exhilarating. You wouldn't guess it because it's Texas, but up at the top, it was fa-reezing. We stopped to eat lunch up at the top as we breathlessly took in the scenery (it was really that pretty...we weren't just breathless because of the long hike :) We could even see a good chunk of Mexico from the top-including a huge Mexican flag! Check out the beauty...The middle peak was our destination, but we started on the other side of the mountain.

We caught beautiful glimpses of the sun as it peaked its head from behind the mountain just as we were starting out.

This is me, about halfway up...starting to get chilly, but almost there! El Paso was on both sides of the mountain range. That was kinda cool. There were only a few places on our hike where you could see ALL of El Paso at one time.

This is the view from the peak! This is actually looking into Mexico. 7400 feet above sea level here.

Just resting before the long hike down... All-in-all it was an amazing day. A great break in the monotony. Hooray for hiking!

Just don't know how

For some reason writing songs has been coming real easy to me lately.
I just wanted to share the lyrics to the latest one I wrote.
and because of my nifty webcam, I'll share the song too!! Rough recording...mind you.

Just Don't Know How

In the darkness of my heart
you come inside and shed some light
I may not notice but you come on in and
restore my soul, you make it whole

In the day when words fly out,
You touch my hand and do not shout
You softly guide me, stand beside me
Making good of what I do wrong

And I---I want to love you even more than I ever have before
But I---Just don't know how

When fear it comes and makes me tremble
You promise me that you can handle
All the knots that tie me up
Just give the mangled mess to you

When everything seems out of hand
And I can't do a single thing
You reassure me, let me know that
You know just what's best for me

And I---I want to give it all to you. Never think twice
But I---Just don't know how

thankful... i am.

ya know even without a family present for thanksgiving, i still had the pleasure of experiencing thanksgiving with a group of incredible people who gave their own resources to bring us one step closer to home by stuffing our faces with turkey. :)
so very thankful that i even get to breathe today and see the clouds against the mountains... each fighting to reveal their beauty in front of the other.
thankful for music with its power to engage the deepest part of me and tug at the strongest of my heart's strings. and not only hear it, but play and sing it too...amazing.
so very grateful that my body is capable of fighting for the freedom of this country...for the freedom of all the American people...for you.
thankful that God helps me through every second of the day, with every blink of an eye He brings me strength. He delivers me. He fights for me when I'm not capable of fighting for myself.
So happy that I've been placed in such a great unit filled with amazing people.
So stinking thankful for my awesome family who loves me. They will always be the light behind my eyes inspiring me to move forward, but always keeping arms open if I ever want to come back home.
So grateful for unnamed friends-you know who you are-who make me laugh when i feel like crying, who know how to listen...sometimes even when i'm not talking, who showed me how laughter heals the deepest aches and laughed with me till we couldn't laugh anymore, who don't forget me...no matter how long i'm away
but most of all, I'm thankful that God is...and that is enough for me.
Happy Thanksgiving

My address at Ft. Bliss

I know some people had asked what my address was while I'm here in Texas, so I will tell you evry-ting!!

...but for security reasons, just email me at bethany.n.davis@gmail.com and I will gladly send you my address.

Thank you so much for all your support!

stupid dreams

dreams for me have always meant nightmares...
ever since i was little, the only dreams i recall were of drive-by shootings,
or wanting to run and feeling like my legs were heavier than iron,
or falling off of a tall something and free falling...sometimes hitting the ground, sometimes waking up just before my face hit the pavement.

lately i've been having good dreams when i'm in sweet slumber... 'sweet dreams' if you will. but now that i've had these amazing dreams about amazing people in amazing times and places...i almost would rather keep the nightmares.

stupid dreams showing me people i can't see right now and things that possibly will never happen or, if they do, wont happen for a very long time.
stupid dreams waiting till i'm away from the ones i love most to rear their ugly heads. stupid dreams to show me up close in sleep what i cannot touch when i'm awake. let me intimately hear things in sleep i'm not able to hear when i open my eyes. give me details of faces in sleep i can only remember and not even see once the day breaks. stupid dreams. how bout another drive by...at least that's not realistic and it's easily shake-off-able once my eyelids open. stupid sweet dreams...stupid

farewell, Nebraskee

First of all, I just want to thank everybody-all of my WONDERFUL family and friends-who came to my farewell ceremony! I was very blessed to have you guys there to support me. It meant much more to me than you know! I wish I had pictures of everybody who came. These are just a few My wonderful family!!

Awesome friends!!

more stupendous family!! ...and thank you, Aunt Michele, for taking pictures during the ceremony :) Tough job, but somebody's gotta do it!

have you ever...

Have you,

experienced a miracle-one day you're one way-the next day so different

The only thing known before was sadness and shame

The only thing known now is laughter and quite frankly...

You just can't explain.

Have you,

wanted something to last forever

Have you,

wanted one thing to just GO AWAY

Have you,

ever wanted to break the hand of time

to never move again...wanting to stay in one moment forever

Have you,

laughed so hard till it hurt

realizing for the first time that the laughter just might be healing that part deep down inside that has been mangled for so very long

Have you,

stood underneath a weeping willow and felt so incredibly happy,

so inconceivably content

---Oh, my God...

how I've wanted to love

But I didn't know it could sting till it burns

burns till it kills

kills till I cant breathe

I can't breathe...

Then I come crawling to You...and that's right where You want me---

Have you,

wanted something so badly

but had your hands tied behind your back and a blindfold over your eyes.

No matter how much you try to do something

you just can't do anything

so helpless...but this time you think it might be okay

Have you ever?

I have.

I just wanted to know if anyone else had too

sneak peek

We should be done after one more go-around. I'm really liking the way it's turning out!

just what i promised...

some hardcore army photos for your enjoyment from my training in Ft. McCoy Wisconsin:

thas looking down the barrel of a .50 caliber machine gun...this one is used to engage LARGE enemy targets
...and this is me SHOOTING some large enemy targets with the .50cal

...and THESE, my friends, are the rounds (aka bullets) for the .50 cal. Freakin bigger than my hands!

The other, smaller, linked ammo is for the 240B machine gun.

This picture to the right is me shooting the 240B. Pa-reeetttty beefy weapon

We were also subject to 15 hours of combatives. We did anything and everything from "rolling"--more on-the-ground type fighting which consists of trying to choke the other person out or get them to "tap"--to practicing punching and kicking and practicing prison cell extractions. Boy was this training fun! But BOY did I get beat up! haha. I learned quite a bit and feel much more confident that I could kick the snot outta somebody if I really needed to...so remember that. If you were gonna jump me to steal my m&ms...I'd think twice about it. That is, if you want to live for a while! haha

Well, these were probably the most exciting things we did while in Ft. McCoy, WI, but we did do a lot more. The last couple of days we did a lot of room and house clearing. This is pretty intense and requires a lot of split second judgment calls! Our last day we had a huge convoy operation that we conducted. It was pretty fun and super realistic. At one point an "IED" went off and it "hit" my vehicle and I got "injured." What did this mean?? Only that they flew in a REAL bird (helicopter) and flew me out of there!! That made the whole entire trip worth it!

So all-in-all... good training. Hope you enjoyed the pictures!!

Back to Nebraska life

hey folks.
Back from Wisconsin and it is very nice to be "home." I came back to Norfolk for the weekend and saying last goodbyes to friends...which sucks...really a lot. I've found I'm horrible at them. I'd like to avoid them altogether, the goodbyes that is. I'm having a going away party tonight. Just tryin to get everyone together that I love and hopefully see a lot of people before I get on up outta here! I DO so very much want to post pictures from when I was in Wisconsin, but I'm gonna have to scat and get this partay-girl ready to say goodbye to everyone! So pictures will have to wait for another day! Whatta sad day. I have a feeling that this will definitely NOT be the last of 'em...

Ft. McCoy...du du du DAH!

La la la la... the Army life for me
Spent the last couple of days at the weapons ranges shooting all sorts of stuff. Mostly machine guns of all sizes, but also a grenade launcher and my pistol and rifle. I have some pictures, but I'm not able to upload them onto this lovely Army computer so those will just have to wait till I get back to Omaha! I've not been feeling too well the last couple of days either, so it makes the days a lot longer. I've just been trying to hang in there and try the boundaries of over-the-counter meds. Just so ya know, the boundaries don't go too far :) This always seems to happen, though, at Army training places. So many bodies, from all over... put 'em together and what have you got? Bippity boppity flu. It should be over soon. The yuck that is.
I think it's funny how I can carry or operate the biggest and baddest weapons out there but how quickly little bugs can put me out of commission. Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?
Well, we got about one more week left of cool Army training. Right now, I got a movie date. Me and my laptop, probably by candlelight. haha... or probably not. whatever. I can dream, right? If you wish upon a star... (I'd probably wish for NC)

Heeere's Ft. McCoy!

Heyo!
Just a QUICK hello...
I am at RTC in Ft. McCoy WI doing some pre-mobilization training. And if I knew what RTC meant I would tell you! haha. Everything is going great! We have done a lot of different training including classes in Arabic, all different weapons training (and firing/qualifying with the M4 rifle and 9mm pistol), vehicle rollover simulations and so very much more! They put us up in these crappy barracks that remind me of summer camp with open bays of 40 bunks! That's a lot of estrogen!! Not to mention open showers (that means there are no shower curtains in between shower heads... thas right, one room+ 6 shower heads= no privacy. I figured it was coming sooner or later tho. Every other time I was at training I was staying in a hotel or really nice barracks so it's about time my treatment is evened out...with crap! They have been long days, but I am starting to feel more and more prepared for this deployment! We don't have hardly any access to the 'net so it might be a week or two before I blog again...much to my dismay. (: I hope everyone is doing well! You all are in my thoughts and prayers! Until next time...

My new tattoo BITE

And yes, I say tattoo bite because it hurt so significantly like the iron brush turned into a ferocious dog that was biting at the flesh of my side! Too gory?? Sorry...umm...yeah, it just hurt more than the outline did, so it caught me a little off guard. But I like the outcome, and unfortunately it appears as if it will take quite a bit longer to finish this project! So far, so good! Lemme know what your thoughts are for the rest. I want the big circle on my shoulder to be blue/turquoise but my tattoo artists thinks ALL the circles should be that blue color! I'm not so sure about that. What do you think would look good for the remaining part of the tat? 'preciate your artistic insight ;)

whoop whoop for a slice of awesome-ness

I like pie...but the slice of awesomeness on Saturday night that I experienced was better than any pie...and I'll tell you why. In this picture we have threeee veeerrrrry special people (aka the slice of awesomeness). Nick, Brenda and Ben. Jake, is always telling me about his best buddies, Nick and Ben and how freakin' awesome they are. So, like any normal person who likes to meet awesome people, I really wanted to meet these guys.
Problem #1: Jake lives in NC, I live in Omaha and these two guys don't live in either place...
So Saturday I was in my parents hometown and our plan was to watch the HUSKER game, well husker game actually, because it wasn't so pretty and I'm a liiiiiiiiiiil bit embarrassed right now. So it ended up that Brenda, me, my mom and sister all went out to watch the game. Besides the game sucking, it was a really good time!! It's always SO GREAT to see Brenda, so that was a piece of that pie I was talking about. Then she and her friends and I went to a "club" (and the term 'club' is really pushing the limits...more like a smalltown-hiphop-hoedown) to dance a little. Ahem...problem #1 from before found it's solution at this point. Who would'a thunk that Jake's two buddies would be there that night? And they just happened to be friends with MY good friend who was there as well and actually introduced me to them! HAHA! Oh, so I was more than delighted to meet them and I had a great slice of wonderfulness because of the whole shibang. Great to meet you guys!! Always fun to hang out with you, Brenda! hooray for slices of awesomeness.

today I realized I'm phasing out...

thank you, boss! Today we got released from "work" early because we had a change-of-command ceremony. Thankfully we didn't have to stay for this ceremony which usually consists of standing in formation for hours and hours...days and days. well, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But it is a long time to stand at the position of attention! So, with the free time I took my happy little self to my hometown to visit the fam...and I'm so glad I did! It sure beats sitting by myself at the ho-tel. Bein' with my family also makes my life-at this point in time-feel relatively normal. Life seems less and less normal each day for some reason. I wonder if all people in the "part-time" military feel this way, or maybe I'm just on crack? Either way, I have my civilian life with great clothes and mostly no rules and my military life with an endless supply of THE SAME uniform and many many rules. These two lives were always difficult to transition between, but now that I'm phasing out one of my lives I kinda feel...uneasy? I guess I'm not sure how I feel. I just know that soon a lot of things will be missing...including awesome, wonderful people; my bed; my clothes, shoes, purses; and my car...and I just don't know if I can live without...my purses. :) hehe. Just kidding. I'm trying to think of ways to soften the blow of missing friends and family, but I think I just need a different way of looking at it. When I was at the beach with a good buddy and the waves were comin' in over our heads, we knew we couldn't jump over/with them so we had to tuck our shoulder like a soldier and jump into the wave with all our might. So here I go...not much I can do. Lookin back won't bring me any closer, so I guess I'll tuck my shoulder and brace for the blow...

Army-barmy training things...

So...in the Army we get to learn how to put IVs in "casualties" if they lost a lot of blood or are severely dehydrated. The catch? We practice on each other! This was my beautiful IV my buddy started on me. Not too bad, not too bad. This IV training was during our Combat Life Saving class we took last week.
Right now at work we are just doing a lot of cleaning and packing of gear and supplies. Lots and lots of classes too! Anything and
everything from how to stay hydrated to react to a chemical attack. We also wear OTVs (bullet proof vests), which are pushing 40lbs, for a certain amount of time each day so we can get used to the weight. A lot of people get sent home before arriving in Iraq because they can't adjust to these heeeavfy weighted corsets...so they're having us get an early start!
This is me in my handy-dandy protective mask. My first job in the military dealt with these things (Nuclear, Biological, Chemical warfare), before I changed jobs--now I'm an MP!
In the Army we also get to do things moms ALWAYS told us NOT to do...like...jump into a swimming pool with all our clothes on, including boots! A lil' drown-proofing action here. That's what they call it anyways. I say it's craziness. but fun.
One of my favorite things about the Army...huge freakin weapons. Lots of 'em. Now I could be the smallest person (but I'm not. Just big in disguise) but behind this MK19 (automatic grenade launcher) I look beefy as hell... c'mon, you know it. i do. We do so much more...this is just a taste...

ma' story

So,
yesterday my mom came to visit me in O-town all the way from Norfolk! I just LOVE mom-visits...I know you all with your own mothers may disagree, but MY MOM is the best there is! She made me a good home-cooked meal and is always up for (and sometimes even joins in with) my crazy shinanigans! haha...oh so much fun, and great to talk to. Thanks, ma for your visit...you know who you are.

You never know who you'll run into

So, funny story...

when I was down in ken-TUH-key at MP school, guess who I ran into??

That's right... Jacob from good ole Neeebraaaskeee! Haha!

We were eating in the SAME dining facility the SAME day, on the SAME base-Ft. Knox. It turns out he was there for school too! What are the odds?? It was so refreshing to see a familiar face there!! People kinda looked at us funny too...I guess Army and Marine don't mix. I didn't get that memo.

p.s. i'm the one in the Army uniform :)

Well, well, well...

...another day today workin' in my "army greens."

I'm just amazed at how much I like this Army stuff. :)

Every day I'm learning so many more sweet Army skills... I'm starting to feel a little bit better about our deployment.

I've got an awesome unit of soldiers who are dedicated and VERY hard workers. I thought I was a hard worker until I started working with these guys...now I just look like a bum. Oh well, can't win 'em all!

I think last night it finally HIT me like a freight train, though, that I am leaving soon and I won't be back for a very very long time.

That was a rough one to get through, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm just hopin' every day will get a little bit better, but unfortunately, lately it's been just the opposite! With no place to call home--living in a hotel--and missing everyone I love SO very much, I'm just trying to keep my "military bearing" while at work.

No worries. I'm sure it will start getting easier!

Thank you, everybody, for all your support...you may not realize it, but it helps a lot!